Saturday, April 25, 2009

Mac attack

Oh, the glory of it all! How have I been missing such an American staple for so long? Where have you been all my life, the elusive Big Mac?? Why, just around the corner at your friendly neighborhood McDonald's!

Now, to all the people who are going to backlash and ask how I can support such a disgusting industry that is clogging the arteries of America's youth and destroying the local eateries, BACK THE TRUCK UP. I've probably had McDonald's less than 5 times in the last 10 years. This includes late night drunk munchies and any other inebriated state requiring a quick fix of cheap greasy food. It's just nasty. Everyone knows that. I hardly think that this goal of tasting an American Tradition means that I am a McDonald's supporter.

As gross and unhealthy as it may be (which it certainly is), the Big Mac is an American Icon of food. The fact that I'd NEVER EVER TRIED ONE blew a lot of people's minds, including my own. How have I, such an avid lover of all things flavor, missed this unique and uncopyable flavor in its own right? I defy anyone to try and mimic this succulent, delicious, unique flavor in any capacity. There's got to be crack or something in them. One bite and I was hooked.

I was definitely warned up front. I've brought up this quest to many people over the last few weeks, and here's how the conversation went about 99% of the time...
Me: "Blah blah blah food blog, I'm going to go to McDonald's too...
Other person: "MCDONALD'S??? THAT DISGUSTING TITAN OF WHAT THEY TRY TO PASS AS FOOD? DON'T YOU KNOW HOW IT'S DESTROYING AMERICA? HOW COULD YOU WANT TO GO THERE? OH MY GOD LET ME JUDGE YOU!!!!"
Me: "But I've never had a Big Mac before, and I think that's weird. I want to experience ALL flavors, and this being such a famous one how could I exclude it from my taste library?"
Other person: "... you've NEVER had a Big Mac? You must drop what you are doing immediately and get one now! How have you lived 23 years without trying one! Once you have one, you'll understand what you've been missing. Actually, it's kind of a secret pleasure of mine to get every once in a while.... (sheepish grin)"

SEE?!?!? EVERYONE knows McDonald's is gross and unhealthy. But it's a travesty that I didn't even know what I was missing! The following is the step by step of the monumental event.

Ahh, even the packaging says "Eat me, EAT ME!"


Not my first look at the Big Mac, but my first look at MY first Big Mac.


First bite. Flavor is already dripping off my tongue and down my chin. Maybe it's just the secret sauce.


Contemplation that only the most serious food critic or philosopher can summon.


APPROVED!


Soon to be digested... hopefully.


+1 for Mickey D's



I will say though, this might not have the happiest of endings. All I know is I ate this at around 9:30 PM yesterday. It is not 2:10 PM and it is still solidly in the stomach. Something needs to happen soon......

1 comment:

Unknown said...

i think i have eaten a big mac before but i dont think the fact that you haven't is shocking. if i ever go to mcdonald's... which probably hasn't been since we used to go after young life in high school, or perhaps a rugby road trip during college, the only thing i would ever eat was chicken nuggets and honey, fries and an oreo mcflurry! i had a craving for mcdonalds fries about a year and a half ago around 2 am and we had to go to 3 different ones to find one that was open. mind you there are not a lot of fast food places in arlington because everyone here is so green-hippie-health conscious-smoncious here (not necessarily a bad thing, unless i go to find cream of chicken soup at whole foods and all they have is organic wheatgrass tomato puree shit--plus their spice section is pathetic...ok sorry for the tangent). anyway, when i finally got the fries they were hot and salty and.... gross. i think its like a vegetarian trying to go back to red meat. even if they wanted to, the absence of it for so long makes it unappealing. so now, i dont have a hankering for their food anymore. i went several years after reading "fast food nation" without ever wanting to go near mcdonalds and since there's not one around i dont have to even think about it :-)